"I want to take back at least half of the “I
love you”s, because I didn’t mean them as much as the other ones. I want
to take back the book of artsy photos I gave you, because you didn’t
get it and said it was hipster trash. I want to take back what I said
about you being an emotional zombie. I want to take back the time I
called you “honey” in front of your sister and you looked like I had
just shown her pictures of us having sex. I want to take back the
wineglass I broke when I was mad, because it was a nice wineglass and
the argument would have ended anyway. I want to take back the time we
had sex in a rent-a-car, not because I feel bad about the people who got
in the car after us, but because it was massively uncomfortable. I want
to take back the trust I had while you were away in Austin. I want to
take back the time I said you were a genius, because I was being
sarcastic and I should have just said you’d hurt my feelings. I want to
take back the secrets I told you so I can decide now whether to tell
them to you again. I want to take back the piece of me that lies in you,
to see if I truly miss it. I want to take back at least half the “I
love you”s, because it feels safer that way."
~David Levithan, The Lover’s Dictionary
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